This topic is of main importance to me. resilience has helped me overcome many obstacles in my life. We all react differently when facing tough times, and the emotional limit one can handle is totally personal and must be non-judgmental. It may be a break-up, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or actually just an
Let’s first describe the different types of attachment and the corresponding patterns for a better understanding — secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. I will give a brief description of the first three ones since they are the most common types. You will be able to learn more on the attachment theory — a fascinating one to me — in a more detailed article I will write later on.
These attachment domains can be applied to individuals, couples and families. They are defined by the way the child or adult explores the environment, relates to individuals, plays, protests and reflects.
Secure — the child typically explores the room and toys with interest
Avoidant — the child fails to cry on separation, actively avoids and ignores the parent on
Ambivalent — the child may be distressed before the separation, may appear angry or passive. The infant fails to settle and take comfort in the parent on
This classification forms the theoretical background to an attachment-based approach to psychotherapy, a viewpoint I strongly believe in. The adult state of mind is based on the emotional behaviour he/she displayed as a child. As I said earlier, they may be modified either by the relationship the child develops with other predominant caregivers at a later stage of life,
The Holding Environment
It is then thought that resilience is a capacity you are able to develop based on your attachment type, the personality you developed as a kid, the way you related to your mother and how she responded to your needs — the ‘good-enough mother’ theory by psychoanalyst D.W.Winnicott. It is also crucial to mention that a child may be secure in a specific cultural environment but avoidant or ambivalent in a foreign one. Why is that? Simply due to the
Your Own Journey
The way life has treated you so far also plays a massive role in your resilience ability. People who had to face
I personally have had to overcome many obstacles in my life, from the loss of loved ones, loss of a country I am so in love with — England -, divorce, helping cancer-stricken patients and relatives, loss of a family house, etc., that resilience is